Monday 19 March 2018

Swimming Sports

In class we had to write what happened in Midland Line swimming sports in present tense and tried not to put past tense. Here is my Swimming sports writing!


Waiting ,waiting, waiting. Oh no, it’s time to swim, although I am a pretty good swimmer. Number 6 is on the board now, “Let’s go Sophie.”
I feel the rough concrete as I walk over to the queue.“ Jess, Autumn, Areah, Leah and Sophie, all here!” yells the lady. I think everyone is here. I’m in lane three and as I hop on the diving place, I feel like I am at the Olympic Games.
Is it one length of freestyle?  “ON YOUR MARKS, BANG!” I have to go. SPLASH! 1 2 3! Breathe 1 2 3! Breathe! Now I’m getting into the rhythm of freestyle. Suddenly, there’s a lot of confusion, everyone is in front. I need to get my arm more into the water and push it back to get faster. The little waves are pushing me from side to side near the red and white lane ropes and I try to go the other way. As I get closer and closer to the end I touch the wall. Yay! I came first! I really feel like I am in the Olympic games now.


My next race is coming up close, number 14, I have to wait eight races for my next race, but at least the races go by quite fast.  I look over to the whiteboard. Is she writing number 14? As I go back to the queue it feels like lining up at my swimming lessons for my instructor to see what strokes I can do. As I look around there is a variety of coloured swimming togs. Hopefully I  will win this race. As I jump up on the edge of the pool all I hear is cheering and clapping. 1 2 3 GO! As I look to the side I see the racers zoom ahead to the end. As I touch the end I turn around to go back to the other end of the pool to finish two lengths of freestyle, all I have to do is to get to the end and touch. I try to push myself to the limit. As  the level of the water gets deeper and deeper I touch the end. All I can hear is people cheering. Second is fine, at least there is still a heap of races to go through to the end. I wonder if anyone thinks our school pool is big or not?


As the lady bangs the light pieces of wood, there are splashes of water everywhere. This is race number... oh it’s Olivia’s race! “ GO Olivia GO”.  She gets her rhythm of her freestyle and she comes first place. Now my race number is on the whiteboard. I need to get ready for my race and it’s underwater swim. As I get up from my seat I squeeze past everyone to get in line. As I get up onto the diving position all I hear is shouting from metres away. Bang! As my fingertips hit the water I know I am going to lose the race. After halfway through the pool I feel like I can’t get to the end, but with only just centimetres away my breath starts to run out and as I touch the end all I hear is cheering. I start to get a headache from holding my breath for a long time. What? I am at the end and I’ve won! This is the first time I actually got to the end and it was so fun. It’s time to get dressed, but at least I had a good time swimming.

6 comments:

  1. Well done, Leah, it really sounds like you worked very hard and had a lot of fun at swimming sports. Something to work on: vary your sentence beginnings and lengths more. You are managing to write complex sentences that begin with, "As..." correctly, so now use them more sparingly and they will be more effective. Think about using some short sentences for impact.
    Mrs Idle

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  2. Thank you Mrs Idle for your thoughtful comment and for the idea of making smaller sentences in my writing.
    From Leah

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  3. Hello Leah, Deakyn here. I really like your description of swimming sports. You really described what you felt like and it made me feel like I was actually there when you posted this. Did you have three races or not? I liked how you used some sounds of splashing and some similes in your description. The feelings you used in your description were great and it made me want to come back to your blog and read some more stuff that you have posted. I hope you can visit my blog sometime soon.
    Kind Regards
    Deakyn

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    1. Hello Deakyn, thank you for your comment on my blog post on my swimming sports writing. And yes I had three races. I will check you blog out.

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  4. Hi there my name is Zoe I'm a in waitimata and I'm a student at waikowai primary school.It made me think of when my school did swimming sports. I like how you described your races. I really liked all of it that I wouldn't change it. If you would like to see some of my learning. My blog is http://wpszoes.blogspot.co.nz

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    1. Hi Zoe, thank you for your comment on my blog post. I like how you said that it made you think of your swimming sports.I will check your blog out soon.

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Thank-you for your positive, thoughtful, helpful comment.

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